Saturday, 11 August 2012

It's my eyes

Went to the opticians for check-up after last year's issues with my eyes. The pressure was high when she did the 'puff test' so she decided she wanted to put a 'probe' into my eye. I had hysterics at the very thought and agreed to go back after diazepam the next day. Well, I took 2 tablets and that meant she got the drops in after only a minor tussle. She had shown me the 'probe' and I thought I could do it. But then she produced something that looked like a tissue which she wanted to touch against my eye to put orange dye in (did I say that orange is NOT my colour? I am 'summer', which means blue, red, purple). Well, I can't keep still whilst this happens - when I go for a professional makeup I always do my own mascara. I told her it was torture and not going to happen.

But I have raised eye pressure and all the standard tests involve touching the eye. They are sadists. It is a human instinct to protect the eyes. I have to be referred and I refused to go to the local hospital where I was traumatised last year. She suggested I might find someone more sympathetic on the net (!!!).

Linguistic notes - 1. 'probe' has negative semantic prosody and sounds like something aliens use after an abduction. 'Sensor' would be better.
2. 'I would understand if it hurt' means 'I don't understand you'.
3. 'It is weaker' meant to her that the prescription was weaker as my vision had marginally improved. To me, this first sounded like bad news and then made me realise she was viewing this from the perspective of the prescription. She is a technician not someone who should deal with real people.

My optic nerve and peripheral vision are both good, so no need for total panic.

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