Relief

Yesterday was my first appointment at Manchester Eye Hospital - just a vision test so in itself not scary. But I needed to find out about what was to happen next week, when I was expecting the dreaded probe. I contacted Patient Support and the woman from there helpfully smoothed the way for me to see the person who would be carrying out my tests next week. We had a long discussion and he said he would do the 'contact testing' immediately so that I would not have to worry for another week. Which was very nice of him but I explained it would be impossible for me to take the test without being sedated or strapped down. He began to understand - he had originally said that my doctor's words about acute anxiety were not unusual and did not bother him.

But he was a really really nice person and give up his morning to arrange for me to have a battery of tests using non-contact equipment. So it is possible. And the eureka moment came when he discovered that I have thick corneas and will always have high pressure readings The normal referral level is about 22 - mine is over 30!! I definitely do not have glaucoma or any particular risk of it and he cannot justify annual NHS checkups so I am back to 2-yearly checks at the opticians.

All that worry for nothing. Do they know what they are doing with these vague screening tests? I have lost several nights' sleep.

But it was a good hospital encounter - good people and a beautiful new building.

My nails are still on and my hair is still good but I haven't MA'd for about a week. I was ahead but I need to work hard next week.

It's my eyes

Went to the opticians for check-up after last year's issues with my eyes. The pressure was high when she did the 'puff test' so she decided she wanted to put a 'probe' into my eye. I had hysterics at the very thought and agreed to go back after diazepam the next day. Well, I took 2 tablets and that meant she got the drops in after only a minor tussle. She had shown me the 'probe' and I thought I could do it. But then she produced something that looked like a tissue which she wanted to touch against my eye to put orange dye in (did I say that orange is NOT my colour? I am 'summer', which means blue, red, purple). Well, I can't keep still whilst this happens - when I go for a professional makeup I always do my own mascara. I told her it was torture and not going to happen.

But I have raised eye pressure and all the standard tests involve touching the eye. They are sadists. It is a human instinct to protect the eyes. I have to be referred and I refused to go to the local hospital where I was traumatised last year. She suggested I might find someone more sympathetic on the net (!!!).

Linguistic notes - 1. 'probe' has negative semantic prosody and sounds like something aliens use after an abduction. 'Sensor' would be better.
2. 'I would understand if it hurt' means 'I don't understand you'.
3. 'It is weaker' meant to her that the prescription was weaker as my vision had marginally improved. To me, this first sounded like bad news and then made me realise she was viewing this from the perspective of the prescription. She is a technician not someone who should deal with real people.

My optic nerve and peripheral vision are both good, so no need for total panic.